The benefits of a university education

Shortly before New Writing 15 came out in June, I entered the title into Google to see what pre-publication attention, if any, it was getting. The faint, almost inaudible buzz I did find came from the blogs of a handful of the contributors, including my own and that of someone who operates under the name of Kingfelix. Kingfelix’s post said that he’d just received advanced copies of the anthology. I added a comment:

I got my copy today. Naturally, the first thing I did was read my own story. Now I’ll read yours… See you at the party!

This was his response:


Ah, sadly I can’t read your story as you attended Cambridge and I have a single-person boycott against all Oxbridge literary output (too much of it, too easily published), but nevermind, enjoy the party.


I would have left it at that, but someone called Tom interceded on my behalf:

Kennedy, will you please control your vituperative urges. Wait until you’ve met him before you insult him …OK, maybe if he was from Oxford. But Cambridge is fine.

Kingfelix, now revealed as Jason Kennedy, replied:

I did not insult him, I rebuffed him.

At this point, foolishly, I commented:

Your loss, boyo.

To which Kingfelix responded:

Of course, those of us who did not attend Cambridge are always incurring losses of one sort or another.

As far as I was concerned, that was the last of it. But I was unwise enough to mention, in a post about the NW15 launch, that I’d enjoyed Tod Hartman’s piece in the anthology. Kennedy, ruffled, rose to what he presumably saw as bait and intervened:

The boy’s reading was excruciating and his story has less jokes and of a lower quality than my own story.

Ah, but he works at Cambridge!

Once again, the wisest policy seemed to be to ignore this. Kennedy’s issues with Cambridge and apparent conviction that praise of anyone else’s work automatically implied unfavourable criticism of his were outside my remit. Nonetheless, I continued to visit his blog every now and again, and enjoyed his posts in much the same way I enjoy John Fowles’ journals, for their self-effacing wisdom and intellectual modesty. And what should I find there a few days ago but news that his story from NW15 is about to be translated into Chinese? I click on comments with the intention of congratulating my fellow-contributor and find this:

I thought the fact my story is about work, rather than the gay scene in Tuscany as experienced by a Cambridge man… (yes, it is tough to accept that such a story and author profile has an easier time reaching market, but there you go).

It isn’t quite a sentence (just as nevermind isn’t quite a word and less jokes isn’t quite grammar), but the gist of it is clear enough. He’s referring to me. And now I’m beginning to get irritated. My first thought is that, if he had been to Cambridge, he would probably have known that Rome, the setting of my story (which you can read by clicking on Entertaining Friends here, by the way), isn’t in Tuscany but Lazio, an altogether less glamorous (as in Cambridge-y) region. My second thought is that no one who has been to Cambridge in the last half-century would refer to himself as a Cambridge man. My final thought is that the person who wrote this knows nothing about me, has no intention of finding out anything about me because that might shake his convictions, and that these convictions are, essentially, racist because rooted in ignorance of the worst, most wilful kind. It’s the kind of mindset that assumes Africans have rhythm, or that Jews are scheming and mendacious. It assumes that someone who has been to Cambridge has floated to success on a cloud of privilege. In my case, it assumes wrongly.

Kennedy was born in Tamworth, the son of an engineer. (You see, unlike him, I’ve done my homework.) I was born, just down the road, in Lichfield, the son of a quantity surveyor. I went to a series of state schools and then, with no assistance from my last comprehensive, won a scholarship to Cambridge, which I attended on a full grant. Cambridge may have been, and may still be, a bastion of privilege, but it never made me feel that I wasn’t entirely within my rights to be there. Since then, I’ve travelled and cobbled together a living in a variety of ways, much as Kennedy seems to have done. I’ve been writing throughout this time and now, a week away from my 54th birthday, I’m about to publish a novel, the sixth I’ve written over a twenty-five year period.

I found my first agent after sending a manuscript, blind, to Cape. The editor who read it (Neil Belton, not a Cambridge connection) turned it down after 18 months, but recommended I get in touch with AP Watt, literary agents. They tried, unsuccessfully, to sell it and, soon after, we parted company. I entered a short story competition organised by the Independent of Sunday and Bloomsbury and was among the winners, without any mention being made of my degree or its origin. My second agent (Malcolm Imrie, not a Cambridge connection) worked hard to sell a novel, but was unsuccessful. My third (Isobel Dixon, not a Cambridge connection, although she lives there) was more successful, selling a novel of mine to an editor at Picador (Sam Humphreys, not a Cambridge connection).

As far as I know, the only use (in the vulgar, self-aggrandising sense Kennedy intends) that my degree has been to me is to facilitate entry into the staff room of one or two cowboy language schools – hardly a glittering prize.

Kennedy might not like my story for a number of reasons. He might have problems with what he refers to as the ‘gay scene’; he might see Italy as irredeemably fey and bourgeois when compared with the grittiness of Guatemala. He might assume my short story is an autofiction, as the French say, and that I and the narrator are one, and equally despicable. But to dismiss my work and me, out of hand, as ‘such a story and author profile’ in the public space of his blog, and to do so without even having the courtesy to name me, is indefensible.

Posted in new writing 15, publishing, writing | 2 Comments

Just in case you haven’t already come across it, I’ve linked to the site of MediaWatchWatch. This is what it’s all about:

MediaWatchWatch was set up in January 2005 in reaction to the religious campaign against the BBC’s broadcasting of Jerry Springer: the Opera.

We keep an eye on those groups and individuals who, in order to protect their beliefs from offence, seek to limit freedom of expression. And we make fun of them.

If you have any information, email The Monitor.

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    Posted in freedom of speech, religion | Leave a comment

    Wine and roses, ongoing

    I’m emerging, slit-eyed and slightly dyspeptic, from a weekend-long party to celebrate the 50th birthdays of Giuseppe and one of my oldest friends, Janet. We had people from all over, from Bulgaria to Bristol to Arizona to Cologne, as well as the length and breadth of Italy. We ate and drank and danced, and then did it all again. We were legion, and very noisy. The police closed us down. It was an occasion of, and for, excess and affection and I couldn’t have been happier or more grateful (and it wasn’t even my party!). Thank you. You know who you are.

    I’ll be posting photos over the next few days. In the meantime, this is a pre-party shot of the living room.

    3 Comments

    An even wider stance

    If you thought Larry Craig had a wide stance, try reading this, from today’s Timesonline. You can find the complete article here.

    Mgr Stenico admits inviting a man whom he met on a gay website to his office, across the piazza from Saint Peter’s Basilica, after expressing an attraction to sado-masochism. What he did not know was that the young man was working for a TV investigation on homosexuality among Catholic priests and went to the tryst with a concealed video camera. The footage was shown this month by La 7, the national TV channel.

    It shows the young man entering the lift to Mgr Stenico’s office and then speaking with the priest in his office. The faces and voices are heavily disguised to respect privacy laws but with the help of subtitles the topics being discussed are obvious.

    Mgr Stenico asks the man, “Do you like me?” and tells him that he is very good-looking. When the young man expresses fears that having sex would be “a sin in the eyes of the Church”, the priest replies: “I do not feel it would be sinful.” Drawn on the subject of sado-masochistic sex, the monsignor says that these are “inner choices, the psychological basis of a personality”. The young man continues to raise moral and religious objections to actually having sex, until the priest becomes irritated, says that he has no time left and takes him back to the lift. On parting, the Monsignor tells him that he is “really tasty” and that he can telephone him or send him a message.

    One of the most amusing aspects of the whole story (and there are so many: I must find out what ‘really tasty’ – a detail omitted from Italian reports – is the translation of,) is Stenico’s claim that gay men prey on priests. This is rather like saying that hedgehogs seek out busy roads, or rats, traps.

    Oddly enough, Stenico’s website, in which he discusses, among other things, the vocation of marriage, is currently unavailable. I suspect the Vatican is more efficient than the GOP at making sure this kind of story will not run and run.

    Posted in homophobia, hypocrisy, larry craig, vatican | 2 Comments

    Rant and let rant?

    I was recently forwarded this.

    We all have to sign a petition to force Google to remove from their websites lists the website:
    http://www.jewwatch.com

    This site is devoted to anti-Semitism, hate of Jews and so, with false articles and researches…..It is one of the first website appearing when searching Jew on Google!

    To force Google to remove this website, we need to gather at least 500,000 signatures.

    We already got 272,000 signatures. We need 200,000 more!

    Please sign the petition at: http://www.petitiononline.com and spread it to all your friends.

    I haven’t clicked on the site, which sounds not that dissimilar to the numerous hate-fests that riddle the web, directed at pretty much any definable minority from Roma to gays to liberals and visited, one imagines, by people who already share the views expressed and enjoy the sizzle of seeing them on their screens and of feeling they belong to their own grubby little tribe.

    Certainly, it makes me uncomfortable to think that it should appear so quickly on Google searches. But it makes me even more uncomfortable to find out that half a million people can render a site effectively invisible by forcing Google to take it off their listings. Censorship is a double-edged weapon and I’d be very worried if, having used it to remove this undoubtedly loathsome site from circulation, it were then used against, say, Joe.My.God or any of a thousand other sites or blogs that represent ideas unacceptable to large swathes of the public. It surely wouldn’t be difficult to find 500,000 rabid homophobes only to happy to sign that kind of petition.

    In the long run, it seems preferable to let the ranters rant than to lose the chance to express our own opinions and beliefs without being hounded into obscurity.

    Posted in freedom of speech, human rights | 4 Comments

    Rubber I get, but slippers?

    My thanks to Popbitch for directing my attention to this story.

    An Alabama minister who died in June of “accidental mechanical asphyxia” was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report. Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge’s death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery’s Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died (while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking). While the Montgomery Advertiser, which first obtained the autopsy records, reported on Aldridge’s two wet suits, the family newspaper chose not to mention what police discovered (see Personal effects, page 4) inside the minister’s rubber briefs. Aldridge served as the church’s pastor for 16 years.

    Posted in religion, sex | 2 Comments

    Freedom is as freedom does

    An interesting article in today’s Slate about bloggers’ rights and the recourse made to British libel laws by those who feel that a post has caused them scorn, derision, social alienation, or loss of face with “right-thinking” individuals. Johann Hari, the journalist who supported the war in Iraq and then, er, didn’t, and Russian billionaire Alisher Usmanov, part owner of Arsenal, have both called in lawyers to defend what they fondly imagine to be their good name against impertinent commentators. The good news is that it hasn’t worked. They might have been able to close down individual sites but the cause has been taken up by other bloggers and both Hari and Usmanov are now seen as enemies to free speech. This might be water off a Russian oligarch’s back but it can’t be welcomed by a liberal journalist.

    Posted in freedom of speech | Leave a comment

    Who are you? Where are you? (UPDATE)

    OK, now I know where you are, and that’s wonderful. Already I feel better. But all these weird silhouettes are disturbing, to say the least. Come on, you can do better. You don’t need to leave a portrait. An intimate detail would do; a foot, a finger. Failing that, a pet, a favourite pot plant, the last house you left without saying goodbye, an edible object that vaguely resembles Mother Teresa (you must have some wizened root vegetable in the fridge)…

    You can do it, you know you can. No one need ever know it’s you.

    Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

    I have seen the best minds of my generation…

    … run for cover at the threat of very large fines. Like American radio station WBAI, which last week decided not to broadcast Ginsberg’s Howl to celebrate its 50th birthday. More information here.

    Why let the government censor you when you can do it yourself?

    Posted in censorship, ginsberg, poem | Leave a comment

    Who are you? Where are you?

    Right down at the bottom of the side bar to the right is a map. If you want to be on the map, do what it says. I’d love to know who you are and where you are. I look so lonely. Make me feel loved, wanted.

    4 Comments