Jobs for the boy

Remember him? That’s right, it’s young Renzo Bossi, son of Umberto “Bingo Bongo” Bossi, currently minister in Papi Berlusconi’s cabinet, may god preserve us. Daddy’s in charge of reform, something that’s sadly needed in the semi-free state of Italy, though personally I’d rather be asked to clean the Augean stables with a toothbrush. Still, you have to start somewhere, and Bossi’s been a professional politician long enough (22 uninterrupted years) to have some idea of the task ahead of him. Corruption, inefficiency, collusion with organised crime. That sort of thing. The kind of thing he’s been attacking from the soapbox of his state-paid salary all these years. But just in case he isn’t sure where to begin – and I saw him looking fairly vacant at the state funeral of Italy’s latest casualties in Afghanistan earlier today, as though he couldn’t quite remember what he was doing there – I suggest he start his reform campaign by taking a look at an observatory that’s just been created to keep an eye on the Milan Expo, scheduled for 2015. The event and the immense amount of money swilling round it have already attracted the attention of the Mafia, which is hardly surprising; it’s a particularly succulent bone, after all, and there should be something for everyone, even after the politicians have been bought off. So it’s good to know that an observatory has been created to make sure that the damage is, at the very least, limited. But wait! I speak too soon. Mr “I Have a Hard-on” Bossi has already sacrificed his own son, the fruit of his potent northern league loins and sharpest knife in the, er, cracker-barrel, vigorous young Renzo. Thrice failed at his high school diploma exams, previously unemployed, it’s up to Renzo to observe Milan Expo 2015. And it’s heart-warming to discover that he’ll be receiving €12000 a month for his efforts. I haven’t been able to find out, though, exactly what this observatory is supposed to be observing. If it’s the risk of corruption, nepotism and the infiltration of half-wits in positions of responsibility, its gaze might profitably be turned upon itself.