Want to read a highly skilled hatchet job of the first paragraph of the Da Vinci Code? Of course you do. Not because you’re jealous of the book’s success and the enormous earnings of Dan Brown, of course. Or the fact that two extremely successful films have been made from his dreadful books. Or the imminent arrival of a new one.
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CHARLES LAMBERT 
Enormous fun, though not at Dan Brown's expense at all, of course. I enjoyed the link on Brown's use of eyebrow-arching too. (Though it would be even more fun, if, like my son, he called them eyebrowns).
It isn't just Dan Brown, didn't his publishers have editors?
And talking about eyebrowns, did you notice Colin Farrell's in In Bruges? Furry pelmets…Hmm. Editors. Maybe when DVC came out he wasn't considered worth it and now nobody would dare…
Ooh yes, that Colin, do you think he had them knitted?
On very large needles…