Fellatio kills

According to the Rev Peter Mullen (click here for more info and a picture), gay people should have government health warnings tattooed on them in the appropriate place. He wrote on his blog:

“Let us make it obligatory for homosexuals to have their backsides tattooed with the slogan SODOMY CAN SERIOUSLY DAMAGE YOUR HEALTH and their chins with FELLATIO KILLS.”

I’d have thought that by the time you’d exposed the lucky chap’s backside and were in a position to read what it said, the effectiveness of the warning would be substantially reduced by the allure of the backside itself. And you’d really need to have eyes in your testicles to benefit from the other one, which is a shade too Pan’s Labyrinth for my taste. 

Still, I can see all kinds of openings (sorry) for creative tattooists. Think of the range of fonts, and colours. Personally, I’d choose something classical, like Bodoni in black, which goes with everything (as if that weren’t the problem). But there must be a market for FELLATIO KILLS in rainbow hued italics. Or why not Comic Sans? And why stop there? Why not adorn the inner thighs with INTERCRURAL INTERCOURSE CAN RUB THE SKIN OFF YOUR GLANS. You didn’t want to know that, did you? But what are warnings for?

Mullen, who also thinks gay pride marches are ‘obscene’, is chaplain to the City of London (so he obviously has lots of free time), as well as being a dead ringer for Francis Bacon’s lover. The way Francis Bacon painted him. 
This entry was posted in homophobia, london. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s