Regular readers may have guessed from my silence that I’ve been staying with my mother for a few days. While I was there she asked me to buy her a strawberry gateau for the freezer. After decades of disdaining ‘bought cake’ she’s succumbed to this particular brand. I haven’t tried it myself, so I don’t know what it tastes like, but the name augurs ill. Yes, that’s right. Arses of Gold. Or Goldenbums. What do you expect for £1.89?

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