Sixteen-year-old English schoolgirl Lydia Playfoot has taken her school to court after being refused permission to wear her ‘purity ring’, claiming that it’s a religious symbol, etc. despite the fact that it’s about as historic as a John Holmes vibrating dildo (a little product placement here). Personally, I’d have thought her smug little face were deterrent enough but if she really must wear something to tell the world that she’s saving her quim for someone special, why not wear a hoodie with It’s a Silver Ring Thing emblazoned on the front (only £20). Or a Safe Sex? T-shirt at £15. Or a beanie hat at a tenner. It may not have much to do with the Bible, but it’ll certainly keep this little gang of trouble-making fundamentalists in pocket (I’m sorry, they’re a strictly no-profit organisation. It says so on the site). You can find the full range of Silver Ring Thing (SRT; not to be confused with STD) merchandise here.
The company secretary of SRT is Heather Playfoot, while the parents programme director is Phil Playfoot. The surname sound familiar? As though fucking around with their own daughter weren’t enough, they want to spend the money they make from selling hoodies (plus a mere twenty quid extra per kid) on something they call Child Sponsorship:
We come across many needy young people on our travels; many are from deprived areas and desperately want to make an abstinence decision and take part in the Silver Ring Thing. Unfortunately they are unable to afford to attend the 4 week programme and receive the SRT434 Student pack and the Silver Ring. By providing a gift of £20, one student will have the opportunity to hear this message, to make an abstinence commitment with a ring, and to share in the hope of a blessed marriage and future. This gift also enrols a student in the extensive follow-up programme designed by SRT.
Deprived children desperate for abstinence? Do me a favour.